Testo President Leary - Denis Leary
Testo della canzone President Leary (Denis Leary), tratta dall'album Lock 'n Load
So, now you know why I can't be the President of the United States
'Cause I would snap like this 18 times a day
Right from the first get-go in the morning, "Mr. President!" "What?!
Get Air Force One, I wanna blow some shit up!
Get Harrison Ford, put him on the plane, I'm gonna beat him up
I'm pissed off at him"
And when I'm President, boy, things are gonna change
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, things are gonna change when I'm
The President of the United States, yep, my domestic policy? Fuck you
My foreign policy? Fu-ah-ah-ah-uck you!
I'll tell you something else! When I'm President of the United States
All you assholes who ride bikes in the city, lock and load! Okay?
You're going down, yeah, what the fuck are you people thinking about
Huh? You wanna ride a bike in the city? Move to China! Go ahead!
Eat some rice for the rest of your life! Are you fucking insane
Riding a bike around the middle of Manhattan traffic, huh?
There's no speed limit in New York, have you noticed that?
Have you ever seen a speed limit sign in Manhattan?
No, they don't exist! Red lights here mean stop if you want to
Last guy who got a speeding ticket in Manhattan was the guy
Who crashed his plane into the Empire State Building back in 1937
Wake the fuck up and smell the Maple Nut Crunch!
They drive me fucking nuts! Have you had that experience
Where you're getting out of a cab, and you open the door
And a bike guy smashes into the car door? And then he gives
You the attitude, "Hey, man, that's my space!"
No, it isn't! That's the space for the door to fucking open, asshole!
They got their little spandex pants on, their little gloves
And they're riding around, "I have the right to ride my bike
Right in the middle of traffic, and I have my little whistle
Fling, fling" I have a horn, flong, flong, you're dead!
And you rollerbladin' assholes, lock and load! Lock and load!
With your pink spandex and your headphones on
Dancing, doing the hustle in the middle of traffic
Make up your mind, dance or drive, okay, asshole?
Just make up a decision
Fuck, I don't get it, you know? Why don't you just put on clown
Pants and ride a unicycle right down Fifth Avenue, "Hey, look at me!"
Why don't you parasail down Broadway? "Look at me! I have the
Right to do this!" No, you don't, snip, snip, you're out, happy now?
You seen the cops who have to ride the bikes? Oh, aren't they the
Saddest-looking motherfuckers? Oh, man, oh, there's not one happy
One in the whole city, man, they're totally bummed out
You know they come from families full of cops, right?
Their dad was a cop, their grandfather was a cop
They dreamed of being a cop their whole life!
They go through the academy, they're waiting for that graduation day
To get all the stuff, then graduation day comes, "Yeah, here's a
Badge, a bike, and a pair of shorts, stop crime, go ahead, get at it
You want more stuff? Here's some white socks and flip-flops
Go ahead, stop crime!
You want a siren? Make one with your mouth, go ahead!" "Uh"
"Oh, man, this sucks, oh, I'm not stopping any crimes, man
I don't care if somebody gets killed right in front of me, I'm not
Stopping, I'm just gonna ride my bike for eight hours and go home
I'm not gonna meet any chicks this way, oh"
I'm waiting to get stopped by one of those guys, man
In my truck, 'cause I'm not stopping, you know? He
Pulls up next to me, "Pull over!" "Oh, you're not a cop
You're a bike asshole!" Fucking leery, I hate you
Bike asshole, I'm a bike cop
That one makes me laugh, another thing, when I'm President, by the
Way, if you wanna join the military, any branch, Army, Air Force
Marines, Navy, once you join, you can fuck whoever you want!
Other soldiers, superior officers, I don't give a flying fuck
Fuck your brains out, go ahead! You have my permission
As long as you wanna kill the enemy, you can have sex with anything
You want, go ahead. "Well, I like to fuck other guys."
Here's another guy and a gun, go, go!
"I like to fuck sheep." Here's a sheep and a humvee, go!
"I like to fuck watermelons." Here's a watermelon and
A gun, go, go, go! Fuck 'em, kill 'em, and eat 'em, boys, go ahead
Uh-huh
That's fucking unconscionable
Because I'm not missing much if the MTV award show is any indication
Meaning?
Credits
Writer(s): Denis Leary
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