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Testi | Testi Mitch Hedberg | Strategic Grill Locations

Testo My Necklace - Mitch Hedberg

Testo della canzone My Necklace (Mitch Hedberg), tratta dall'album Strategic Grill Locations

I was in a park, I saw a kid flying a kite

And he seemed so excited that his kite was in the sky

I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do

Now had he had a chair on the other end of that string, I would've known

Imagine trying to fly a chair, you'd have to run like a motherfucker

This is my one hour of slow time

So just stay, stay with me through the end of this recording

I got my necklace

My necklace pulls my hair now and then

It's weird

I think someone's behind me, it's my necklace

If you had a friend who's a tightrope walker

And you're walking down the sidewalk with him and he fell

That would be completely unacceptable

I don't have a cellphone or a pager

I just hang around everyone I know all the time

If someone needs to get a hold of me, they just say, "Hey, Mitch"

And I say, "What?" and turn my head slightly

I hope the next time I move, I get a real easy phone number

Something that's easy to remember

Something like 222-2222

I would say, "Sweet"

And then people would say, "Mitch, how do I get a hold of you?"

I say, "Just press two for a while"

"And when I answer, you will know you pressed two enough"

Some companies like to use their, like to spell out a word

So you call them up and remember the name

But they use too many letters, you know

Because they can't, they can't edit it

"Give us a call at 1-800-I-LOVE-BRAND-NEW-CARPET"

I ain't gonna

I like to press all the buttons, you know

Spell that fucker out till the very end

And if the operator's still there, God bless him

I never say "God bless her" on stage, that's gonna be edited

"God bless her," what the fuck is that

That's not my style

I'm not the kind of guy who says "God bless her"

We'll leave that to other comics

Other comics say "God bless her" way better than I do

I say it badly

Credits
Writer(s): Mitch Hedberg
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Testi di Mitch Hedberg

Altre canzoni dell'album

The CD Jokes Koalas Highlights You Were Good Shaving Too Minibar Beret And Pancakes The Velcro Wallet Dry Clean Only Gambling

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