Testo Marriage - Unknown Comic
Testo della canzone Marriage (Unknown Comic), tratta dall'album What's So Funny About Marriage? Vol. 3
How you doing tonight truckers?
Welcome to the Laughing Hyena comedy truck stop
Where we're gonna be talking and laughing about marriage
That's right, you heard me, marriage
Everybody married out there?
Sorry to hear that
Well, you know why men die before their wives, right?
'Cause they fucking want to
You know what, marriage is grand
Divorce is a hundred grand
But enough about me
I'm gonna introduce to you a very funny man
Been working all the truck stops around
The US of A and he's here with us tonight
Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands
Together for the very funny, Unknown Comic!
Alright, what do you guys want to talk about today?
Marriage!
Alright, what's so funny about marriage?
I'll tell you, well first I want to say that
The secret to happy marriage is still a secret
And the most common marriage proposal
Is still "You're gonna have a what?"
But seriously, marriage is a wonderful way to spend a weekend
And marriage is the only word that is also a sentence
Alright, let's meet- oh this looks like a-
Well here's a cute little lady right over here, what's your name?
Jessie
Jessie. What a cute little voice, Jessie
Imagine her drowning
"Help... I'm drowning"
Hey Jessie, are you married?
No
No, do you mess around?
No
No, well will you hold still while I do?
Hey, what kind of man you wanna marry if you get married?
A real man
Oh, that's what I would think of, is that what you're saying?
That's a typical woman you know, they get boob jobs
They wear wigs, they wear false eyelashes and fake
Fingernails, and then they say they're looking for a real man
You know why women fake orgasms?
Why?
Because men fake foreplay
My ambition's always to marry a very rich
Woman who's too proud to have her husband work
Remember the old days when a guy would ask a girl to
Marry him, they'd get down on his knees and they'd say
Something like "Darling, may I have your hand in marriage?"
Nowadays they just turn over and say "
How'd you like to do this every night?"
That's right, nowadays when couples get married
It's the lawyers who live happily ever after
For better or worse usually means the bride couldn'
T do any better and the groom couldn't do any worse
Alright, what else is funny about marriage?
Divorce
Divorce!
Credits
Writer(s): Marques B. Houston, Brandon Howard, Rufus T. Moore
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