Testo Heart Attacks - Richard Pryor
Testo della canzone Heart Attacks (Richard Pryor), tratta dall'album The Anthology: 1968-1992
I cannot swim, anybody else can't swim?
See, there ain't many of us left, most of us have drowned
I'm not bullshit, man, I was fucking with my kids
And I usually be in the shallow part, you know, just fucking around
And one time I fuck around and forgot and jumped in the deep end
And water has a way of bringing your memory back to you real quick
And all I could think of when I was talking about it
Edge, get me to the edge, Lord, the edge
I was swimming in one spot
I'm making a whole lot of water and shit fall out of the pool
But I wasn't moving nowhere
My kids was talking about, kick your legs daddy, kick your legs
I said edge
And my kids was laughing at my ass
I was drowning, they thought that was funny
They laughed when I had a heart attack, they laughed
I was in the front yard, they went, ha-ha-ha
Said daddy's so funny
Look he's turning blue, ha-ha
I had to threaten to cut their allowance off
To get them to call me an ambulance
My son said, oh shit, dad's serious
Don't motherfuck with the money
Anybody here ever had a heart attack?
No, motherfucker never admit they had a heart attack, right?
No, sir, I never did, I had indigestion one time
That motherfucker's hype
I don't care what nobody tell your ass, boy
I was walking in the yard and something said, "Don't breathe no more"
I said, huh? I said, don't breathe no motherfucking more
You heard me, okay, I won't breathe, I won't breathe, I won't breathe
And I tried to ease a little air inside of my mouth
I said, say, motherfucker, did I tell you not to breathe?
You told me not to breathe, you told me not to breathe
Well, where are you going? Why are you walking?
Stand still, motherfucker, okay, I'll stand still
Get your ass down, okay, I'm down, I'm down, I'm down
Don't hurt me, don't hurt me, don't hurt me
Shut the fuck up, you're thinking about dying now, ain't you? Yeah
Why didn't you think about that when you was eating?
That pork, motherfucker
Drinking that whiskey and snorting that cocaine, nigga
I didn't think about, I didn't think
Shut the fuck up, I'll shut up, I'll shut up
You ain't shut up yet
That's when you put an emergency call in to God
Please, this is emergency, can I talk to God?
I'll have to put you on hold, and your heart gets mad
If it finds out you was going behind his back trying to talk to God
Was you trying to talk to God? No I wasn't you was a liar
I woke up in the ambulance and I was looking what nothing
But white people staring down at me
I woke up in, I said, oh God, I'm fucked around
Wind up in the wrong motherfucking heaven
So, now I got to listen to Lawrence Welk the rest of my life
But they worked on my ass, man, they saved me, man
You know, they say, though, you can save people
Like you see them with mouth-to-mouth resuscitation
I don't know because if I'm walking down the street
And I see a motherfucker laid out like this
And slobber and shit hanging out their mouth
They ain't gon' make it
You know what I mean?
Hey, bro, I don't think you're going to make it
Unless you can get somebody to wipe that shit off your mouth
'Cause you could be giving somebody mouth-to-mouth
And death ease into your lungs
And death don't give a fuck where it go
And it get two for one, that's a good day
'Cause you can't fuck around with death, boy
Death will take you away and forget it
Unless you John Wayne or somebody can kick death's ass
John Wayne kicked death's ass twice
Right? The motherfucker had cancer, kicked death's ass
Open heart surgery, John Wayne, what did it say?
Get the fuck out of here
And if you ever have to go to the hospital, I hope you never do
Carry a small bottle of piss with you
'Cause you cannot pee when they ask you to in the hospital
You ever try to fill that up?
Can you turn some water on or something?
You ever try to piss in them bottles?
There's something too clean about pissing in them bottles
Your dick don't want to do it
I mean, your dick will look at you and say
Why do I have to piss in this? Well, I ain't going to do it
You take me over to the toilet where I used to piss
I don't want to piss in this thing
Say, man, piss, please
I'll never be able to leave here if you don't piss
Well, I don't care
That's glass I can catch something
You don't know who pissed in this, right?
And finally, if you do start, you can't stop, right?
Nurse! I need another bottle of quick! Help!
They be so nonchalant with your piss in the hospital
Don't think they be doing, this your piss, thank you
I couldn't grab nobody's piss like that
I'd have to have some prongs and shit, right? I'd be like
Alright, I'm going to get the piss now, clear the hallway
Okay, I got the piss. I'm coming through
That man there doesn't have the authority to be here
Back off, goddammit, and then they put you in intensive care
And they put you in a room and hook your shit up with wires and shit
You'd be looking like Frankenstein
Tubes and shit would be all in your nose
You'd get to watch your life beep away
You'd be a machine, if you hear, cancel Christmas
One morning I woke up, I heard
I said and I was in the hospital, man
And an old man died while I was in there, an old man about 97
Well, fuck it. You might want to live to be 98
But he died and he was in room 24, I was in 25, he died
I could die dead, and I said to myself, I said
God, no mathematics, after 24, come 25
And I heard the nurses and shit talking shit
Like, didn't you check on him?
Well, he was alright two days ago
Uh, hmm, well, if you don't say nothing, I won't say nothing
And I said, a motherfucker can die here for real
And nobody give a fuck
I start tearing tubes and shit out
I was trying to get out of the hospital
And that dimmer, I'll be fucking with you right now
Nurse said, you can't leave, you lying motherfucker
I'm going outside and die in the gutter
Where somebody can find my ass
Credits
Writer(s): Richard Pryor
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