Testo Ding Dong - Bill Hicks
Testo della canzone Ding Dong (Bill Hicks), tratta dall'album Salvation: Oxford, November 11th, 1992
So I'd like to start the show with a little song I wrote
Ding dong, Bush is dead, Bush is dead, Bush is dead
Ding dong, Bush is dead, Bush is dead, da da
Ding dong, Bush is dead, Bush is dead, Bush is
Ding dong, Bu- Yeah, I see, yeah, okay, yeah. Yeah
I haven't worked out the other, but "Ding dong
Bush is dead" is how I'm gonna close it, though
Yeah! Twelve years all the comics in the US have been
Like a little pygmy tribe, man, shooting little darts
Into this rampaging beast elephant republicanism. And
Finally, Tuesday night, it crashes to the fucking ground
So we all did our little pygmy dance
Ding dong, Bush is dead, Bush is dead, Bush is dead
Ding dong-
And then I realized along with Bush died half of my fucking act. Now-
Ding dong, bring him back, bring him back, bring him back
Ding dong, they're fucking staring, fucking staring
Help me, help me!
Nah, I can't be selfish. He's gone and it's good
People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not
That I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his
Foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of
Satan here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left
And it's weird. Politics does make strange bedfellows, man. You know
When the dust settles to see what side you're on, it's really odd
You know what I mean? I was reading in the paper on uh, Tuesday
Wednesday after the elections over, and there's a
Quote from Saddam Hussein going, "We have nothing
Against America. We just want to see George Bush beheaded
And his head kicked down the road like a soccer ball."
I'm thinking, "That's what I wanna see! Cool!
Me and Hussein, we're like this, man! Saddam!"
You know Hussein is just still laughing in some basement bunker
Somewhere when that fucking election came around and he lost, huh?
You know, that's what bugged me. Uh, Hussein's still in power
That's the crack-up of all time to me, you know? CIA has a plot
To get rid of him. It's a plot they've used before to get rid
Of world leaders. Only problem they're having is convincing
Hussein, you know, to fly to Dallas. And uh, yeah, but I think
Once there, the plan is fairly, you know, we got it. It's pretty
Operable. Can't say Dallas doesn't love you, Saddam! Hehe
But uh, see, you know, you know what bugged me about the whole
Election? Was that uh, they made it, you know, they totally reduced
Us to this worship of money, and that's what they made the whole
Election about was taxes, you know, voting with your wallet, you know
What I mean? People would say to me, "Bill, you vote for Clinton
He's gonna raise your taxes. Okay? I mean, he'll tell you he's not
But he's gonna. A vote for Clinton is a vote for higher taxes, Bill."
See, I have news for you, folks. There's other reasons not to vote
For George Bush than taxes, okay? I don't know what's happened to
Us as a world. Maybe twelve years of republicanism has made us
Think this way. But the reason I didn't vote for George Bush is
Because George Bush, along with Ronald Reagan, presided over an
Administration whose policies towards South America included
Genocide. So, yeah, you see, the reason I didn't vote for him is '
Cause he's a mass murderer. Yeah, I, yeah, okay, yeah. Yeah, I'll
Pay that extra nickel, um, on, you know, a liter of petrol just
Knowing little brown kids aren't being clubbed to death like baby
Seals in Honduras so Pepsi can put a plant down
There. I'll pay the extra nickel. I'm getting
This fitted for my heart in any moment. You know?
And Bush, looking horrible the last few days, was wonderful to watch
This little, he was just whiny and little, he looked terrible. He
Looked like Skeletor, man. For Halloween, they put a candle in the
Back of his throat and he went out as a jack-o'-lantern. Hehehehe
But he's trying to buy votes, you know. He sells a hundred and
Sixty-four fighter jets to South Korea. He sells two hundred
And forty tanks to Kuwait. And then he has these speeches where
He goes, "We still live in a dangerous world. Thanks to you!
Fuck, before that, Kuwait had rocks, man! Thank you, Poppy!"
He authorizes the production of more stealth bombers. The invisible
Fighter jet, I guess to help us defend ourselves against the
Invisible countries that threaten us
Every fucking day. To be named later
And I'm looking around the globe. There's no one that can threaten
America ever again. It's over. We know Russia was a fucking
Lie anyway. There's nothing there. There's nothing anywhere
How does it feel to find out we are the evil empire? Hehehe
There's no one who can threaten us, man. And I'm talking now
Only of countries we don't arm first. Okay, so if you wanna argue
On that level, you have a point. We keep arming these little
Countries and then go and blow the shit out of them. We're like
The bullies of the globe. We're like Jack Palance in the movie
Shame throwing the pistol at the sheepherder's feet: "Pick it up."
"I don't wanna pick it up. You'll shoot me."
"Pick up the gun."
"I don't want any trouble, Mister. I just came into town to get
Some hard rock candy for the kids and some gingham for my wife
Let me get back to my sheep farm, Mister. I don't want no trouble."
"Pick up the gun."
"You all saw him. He had a gun. America... That's my little
Western skit. I was there! I was in the saloon. Out!"
You know? Find out Bush has sold weapons to Iraq since '86, some
Of you fuckers have been selling weapons to them too, huh? That's
What bugged me about Bush, man, this, this whole thing about him
Being the foreign policy expert, you know what I mean? "Yeah
Well, you know, when it comes to foreign policy, George Bush is
The man I trust. He's got the, you know, experience, and the...
Look at the coalition against Iraq. Incredible! Incredible! That
Huge coalition, that giant coalition that included... England."
Yeah, that must have been hard, the two predominantly white
Nations going, blowing the shit out of this little brown nation
What a hard sell that must have been for John Major, huh?
"John? George Bush, how are you? Good. We have a disgruntled masses
Getting really bored here, how about a little fireworks? Well, let's
Go through the Rolodex. No, Noriega, God damn. Oh, here's one! Saddam
Hussein, that'll look good, let's go kill some sand niggers, yeah?"
"Brilliant, brilliant, we'll be there, right, right, we'll be
There, brilliant. Yes, we've already armed them, too, it's
Brilliant. We know exactly what we're up against, it's brilliant."
What a huge coalition it was, you know? "Oh, France had a couple
Of planes in there, yeah, yeah, we told them, 'Put a few fucking
Planes in or Mickey Mouse leaves the country.' Alright, let's
Get back in line for the rollercoaster. We have done our duty."
Selling weapons since '86 to Iraq, and I wondered about
That during the Persian Gulf War, those intelligence
Reports before it all started? "Oh, Iraq, they have incredible
Weapons, incredible weapons." "How do you know that?"
"Well... we looked at the receipt. But as soon as that check clears
We're going in. What time's the bank open, eight? We're going in at
Nine. For God and country and... here's a flag, whatever symbol
Y'all need. Let's go! Come on, we're killing sand niggers, let's go!"
"He's a Hitler, he's a Hitler. Saddam Hussein is a Hitler
" "What does that make you, Goebbels? Quit arming him!"
"He's a Hitler." "He was your friend last week." "He's a Hitler now."
Trying to motivate people, you know, it's unbelievable how they got '
Em, people were just like, "He's a Hitler, yeah, Bush, get real, man."
"You like dogs, don't you?"
"Yeah, we love dogs."
"Well, we have an intelligence report that says here
Saddam Hussein likes to fuck dogs in the ass, and
Then take their spine out and use it as a toothpick."
"You're shitting me. Let's go kill this guy. I had no
Idea he was that much of a maniac. This is for Rover!"
"Y'know, that's what intelligence reports
Say, he's a Hitler, he fucks dogs, mm-hmm."
"I don't know, you sure that's true?"
"You like kittens?"
"Yeah, I like kittens, they're cute!"
"He boils 'em and eats 'em."
Credits
Writer(s): Billy Butler, Clifford Scott, Bill Doggett
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
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