Testo If I Didn't Have You (Jfl 2010) - Tim Minchin
Testo della canzone If I Didn't Have You (Jfl 2010) (Tim Minchin), tratta dall'album Just for Laughs: The Archives, Vol. 26
Are you ready for my penis-based humour?
Okay, I get, uhm, I get lots of emails
Trying to convince me to buy a penis enlargement kit
I don't need a penis enlargement kit
I'm perfectly happy with the penis enlargement kit I've got at home
So here's something that you probably didn't know
'Cause you don't have a fucking clue who I am, uh
I got, I lost my virginity, thank you very much, thank you
I lost my, I did at 17, which is half my life ago now
I just realized I'm 34, 17, I lost my virginity, and I
That girl who I lost my virginity to is my
Wife, mother of my children, my wife
So, uh, this is a song, her name's Sarah
And yeah, I like her, she's, uhm, yeah, I love her, yeah
Yeah, I love her, she's great, oh yeah, yeah, I love her
She's, uhm, I thoroughly recommend my wife, she's lovely
You should, uh, I'd have a, I'd have a go if I were you
And, uh, this is, uhm, this is a song I wrote for my Sarah
Because I always like to do a song for her whenever I perform
It's called 'If I didn't have you'
Yeah, yeah, if I didn't have you, you
If I didn't have you to hold me tight (if I didn't have you)
If I didn't have you to lie with at night (well, I don't tell blue)
If I didn't have you to share my sighs (share my sighs)
And to kiss me and dry my tears when I cry
Well, I really think that I would have somebody else
(If didn't have you) If I didn't have you, someone else would do
Your love is one in a million (one in a million)
You couldn't buy it at any price (come my love)
But of the nine point nine, nine, nine, hundred thousand of the possible loves
Statistically, some of them would be equally nice
Or maybe not as nice, but say smarter than you
Or dumber but better at sport
Or-or-or coloring, I'm just saying, (I think I'd probably have somebody else) yeah
(If I didn't have you) If I didn't love you, someone else would do (someone else would do)
And note that I'm not undervaluing what we've got when I say
That given the role chaos inevitably plays
And the inherently flawed notion of fate
It's abstruse to deduce I found my soulmate at the age of 17
It's just mathematically unlikely that at a university in Perth
I happen to stumble on the one girl on earth specifically designed for me
And if I may conjecture a further objection
Love is nothing to do with destined perfection
The connection is strengthened
The affection simply grows over time like a flower or a mushroom
Or a croissant d'ander or a vine or a sponge or bigotry or a (banana) banana
And love is made more powerful by the ongoing drama of shared experience
And the synergy of a kind of symbiotic empathy or something like that
So I trusted girls without saying that I would feel really very sad
If tomorrow you were to fall off something high or catch something bad
But I'm just saying I don't think you're special
I mean, I think you're special, but you fall within a bell curve
I mean I'm just saying I think I'd probably (have somebody else) okay
I think you are unique and beautiful (unique and beautiful)
You make me happy just by being around (just being around)
But objectively you would have to agree that baby when I found you
Options were relatively thin on the ground (thin on the ground)
You're lovely, but there must be girls as lovely as you
And maybe more open to spanking or
Table tennis, I'm just saying, I think I've probably (have somebody else)
I mean, I reckon it's pretty likely that if, for example
My first girlfriend Jackie hadn't dumped me
After I kissed Winston's ex-girlfriend, Nia, at Steph's party back in 1993
Enough variables would probably have been altered by the absence of that event
To have meant the advent of a tangential narrative in which we don't meet
Which is to say there exists a theoretical hypothetical parallel life
Where what is not as it is, and I'm not your husband, and you are not my wife
And I am a stump man living in L.A. married to a small blonde Portuguese skier
Who when she's not training does abstract painting, practices yoga, and brews her own beer
And really likes making home movies and suffers neck-down alopecia
Just a little bit of pubic alopecia
But with all my heart and all my mind, I know one thing is true
I have just one life and just one love and my love, that love is you
And if it wasn't for you, darling, yeah, yeah, yeah
I think I'd probably almost deathly have somebody else
Oh, if it didn't have you, do-do-do-do
Someone else would surely do-do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do-do, yeah
Credits
Writer(s): Max Duane Barnes, Skip Ewing
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