Testo Chinese Food - Richard Pryor
Testo della canzone Chinese Food (Richard Pryor), tratta dall'album Wanted - Live in Concert
If they ever had like an ethnic IQ test
You know the Chinese gon' win, right?
Any motherfucker eat with two sticks has got to win
You ever try to be fuckin' with them sticks, jack?
You could starve to death and lie to this shit
They be starvin' in India and won't eat them cows
Motherfucker says, "It's a religion"
If I lived in India, jack
I'd wait 'til about three in the mornin'
When there wasn't nobody around, jack
And get me a two-by-four
I'd be out there in the street, I'm a "Moo! Moo!"
Say, "We gon' eat tonight, baby"
"What about reincarnation?"
I say, "I'll worry about that shit when I get back"
"I'm hungry tonight"
You know what I wanted to tell you
About the Chinese restaurant I went in
And I heard the funniest shit that I'd ever heard in my life
Was a Chinese person that stuttered
I had never heard a Chinese person stutter in my life, jack
And this motherfucker was off into it
He "Non-ch-ch-ka-ka-aa- aa-oo"
"Oo-pai-ch-aa-oo-oo-ch"
Ch-ni-ki-aa-aa-oo-oo-oo"
And his friends was tryin' to help his ass
I'm a "Loo-choo-bowee-gee!"
That motherfucker was still talkin' about
"P-p-p-aa-aa-oo-oo-ch"
"Ch-ch-wai-chi-oo-oo-oo"
Chinese people be fuckin' with you
I think it's 'cause niggas order everything on the menu
I know my friends do when we go to the restaurant
Niggas be talkin' about
"You got any pork fried duck?
Some chop suey chitlins?"
I got one friend, he always orders biscuits and shit
He said, "You got any biscuits back in there, motherfucker?"
'I'm gonna sop up this chop suey"
"I ain't leavin' shit"
Nigga drinks the hot mustard, named David
He just drink the mustard
He go, "Yeah, that shit hot, but ain't like in Louisiana"
Chinese people bring a bill to your ass, too, right?
You say, "$48 for what?" You know
And they always get smooth, they be like
"You'll have two lo sa tu or something
Or an imperial s- Cantonese lo sa tu"
And if you really don't understand
They send that stutterin' motherfucker over there to explain to you
"B-b-chi-aa-oo-oo-hoo-oo-p-paw"
You just throw your money out to him, motherfucker, take some
Leave me the fuck alone
I always ask for the check before
I'm finished, it make him mad, right?
He say, "You got two more dishes!"
I say, "Man, I can't eat no more of this shit"
"You order shit, you eat shit!"
"You know people in Mississippi starving?"
"Who you think you are, Buster Brown?"
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Writer(s): Richard Pryor
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